So my husband started working a 12 hour night shift about 4 months ago. Let’s just say it’s been difficult…
He works from 7PM-7AM 3 days on, 2 days off; then 2 days on 3 days off. Basically he’s off every other weekend.
I’ve noticed myself feeling distant from him for a while now. He says we’re still close, but I don’t feel it.
His sleep schedule is erratic for a lack of a better word. He comes home on his days off at 7AM and plays video games until noon then goes to bed. On his days off he gets up at 8pm and stays up all night playing video games until noon the next day. It’s not a good schedule and I feel like he isn’t getting enough sleep.
I rarely see him and when I do it’s when he’s leaving for work or in the morning before I go to school. I don’t see him that much on his days off because I’m hanging out with friends or family. So I feel like I never get a chance to talk to him. When I do talk to him I have to update him on everything that’s gone on. Then he will proceed to talk to me about work for an hour.
So how does this affect our marriage? As I said, we rarely talk. We’re never in bed at the same time. We each do our own thing when we’re home. It’s like living with a roommate and it’s very hard. I miss him so much. I miss talking to him and being together.
However, I’ve found out how much I like to be independent now. I make my own food, I have my own schedule. I go to school, come home and do homework, hang out with my dog, and run any errands that need to be done.
Because I’m so heavily medicated, there are days I don’t even notice he’s been home because I’m in my own little world. It’s like if I don’t think about him I don’t miss him. On weekends is really when I start to miss him.
So I guess the positive of night shift in a marriage is you become more independent and can do whatever you want; but you will eventually miss your spouse.