S4: Short Story Series Saturdays

[3] S4: continued “Derek”

I open the metal door to the Circle K gas station. The girl with the black hair and red streak looks at me suspiciously. I decide to be ballsy so I smiled and winked at her. Then I realized my hood was tightened over my face. I quickly pull it down off my head. She watches me walk to the back of the store.

I look at the ceiling trying to find cameras. The only ones I see are near the alcohol. I figure now is as good a time as any to have sticky fingers. I grab a protein bar and shove it in my hoodie pocket as quickly as I can. I lean over at the end of the isle. The girl was too busy ringing up a customer to notice, at least that’s what I thought. I decided to bolt for the door.

“Hey, you!” A voice calls. I stop at the door and am sure I’m busted. I turn around and the beautiful girl is looking at me. She nods her head and says “Come here.” I walk up to the counter hoping she’s not going to call the cops. She looks me up and down.

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” She asks. I can see her looking deep into my eyes trying to figure me out. I clear my throat and try to calm down.

“I don’t think so,” I say cooly. “But I’d like to know you.” I flash my teeth and smile big for her. She giggles and turns around behind the cash register. She turns back around after a few minutes and slides me a piece of paper.

“Here’s my number. Text me sometime.” She says with a smile. I take the piece of paper and shove it in my hoodie pocket with the protein bar. The sensor above the door sings as I leave.

Once I get a few feet away from Circle K, I look around. No cops or anyone following me. I open the protein bar and eat it quickly. I was so hungry. I hadn’t ate in days. Dad doesn’t keep much food around the house. Just another great thing about him. As I finish the protein bar I remember the piece of paper she gave me. I open it up. It says “Samantha 309-838-5555” with a little heart next to her name.

Being one of the poor kids, I don’t usually pull many girls. I was surprised that this one willingly gave me her number. I’d never seen her before. She must got to a different school.

I keep walking. My feet start to ache when I realize how far I’ve walked. I’m in the next town over. Normal. You can’t find many “normal” people here…

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My Life

Starting my 2nd semester

So I was very nervous to start my second semester of community college. Today was my second day.

So far I’m really looking forward to my World Religions, American Literature, and Creative Writing classes. Hoping they help mold me into becoming a better author. Also crossing my fingers for more A’s this semester.

I’m taking on a full load, 5 classes instead of 4 which I had last semester. Thus far, all my teachers are amazing. I’m just a bit discouraged that I already have so much homework. Hopefully I can catch up.

So I finished my book last week. One of my friends decided to be a beta reader and gave me some discouraging feedback so I’m at a standstill at this point. My editor won’t have a chance to edit until probably February so it’s looking like maybe late February, early March it will get published. Logan and I are still currently working on the cover. Hoping to get that done soon for promos.

If you’ve read my books, please give me words of encouragement. I’m really feeling like a crappy writer right now.

My Life

Updates

So as you may know, I just finished my first semester of college at Heartland Community College. I’ve been off since December and don’t go back until January 17th. I’m so anxious to start my new classes.

I’ll be taking Algebra, World Religions, English 102, American Literature, and Creative Writing.

Last semester I ended with an A in English, A in Literature and Film, C in Psychology, and a D in Algebra.

I’m beyond excited to start my new classes, especially World Religions and Creative Writing.

It’s been an interesting journey thus far. I’m always one of the oldest people in my class. I constantly feel like I’m not as smart as these kids who are just out of high school. They blurt out answers to questions that sound so much smarter than anything I’ve thought of.

I’ve been having quite the hard time in Math. Unfortunately everything is done online and the teachers aren’t very helpful. So pray with me that I pass this math class.

Lucky is a spoiled little sweetie. She doesn’t cuddle with me as much but she loves playing in the snow. She’s really taken a liking to Logan too. I just love her so much. 💜

I’m about to finish my third book. I shouldn’t even call it a book, it’s more of a short story. I’m trying to get it done before I go back to school.

sorry I posted this late! Forgot to post it a few weeks ago.

My Life

College Life

As I end my 2nd day at the community college, I feel I must write about my experience.

The first day I had three classes. Pre algebra, Intro to Psychology, and Literature in Film. Let me just tell you, math first thing in the morning isn’t quite refreshing. My teacher is nice though. No one spoke to me in pre algebra. When I went to psychology class no one would sit by me or talk to me. I know it was the first day, but it was a bit disappointing. I felt like people were avoiding me. I couldn’t help feeling out of place. I seemed to be the oldest in all of my classes. My psychology teacher is pretty cool. He makes jokes. He’s a younger guy. I accidentally got 2 copies of my psychology book. So I have to take one back Thursday. It’s interesting having to upload all your homework and do quizzes on the college website called “blackboard”. It’s so weird. You used to have to print a copy and take it to school. I guess I’m just old… Anyway, Literature in Film was pretty cool. My teacher seemed kinda like a laid back hippie. He said he majored in Literature when he was in college. Literature in Film class is going to be fun. I’m excited to read Breakfast at Tiffany’s just to compare it to the movie. It’s definitely an iconic movie. Everyone in that class kinda talked to me and was very friendly. Most of my classes were pretty well close together except my pre algebra class. It’s half way across the parking lot.

So on to day two. I felt like day one was a great experience and I was happy to be in the college lifestyle. Now at day two, I can’t help but feel uneducated. I started this morning with my Critical Reading and Writing class. My teacher is very nice, but stern. He does not accept late work under any circumstance and he will be quick to drop you from the class if you miss more than 3 days. He did an interesting activity though. He made us introduce ourselves to the person to the right and to the left of us. Then he had us write why we were taking the class. I said because I loved to read and write and because it was a requirement for my major. So we had to walk around the class and compare our answers to everyone else and find out if anyone had the same answer. After that, he had us lineup by how long it took us to get from home to school. I was in the middle since it only took 20 minutes for me and that’s mainly because of construction. So we had to go around asking everyone how long it took them in order to determine where to stand. The teacher also has a policy that if someone yawns we all have to stand up. You have to understand, that is going to be hard for me considering the class is at 8AM. I can have a few cups of coffee or an energy drink and I’ll still yawn. So we’ll see how that works out.

My second class today was Introduction to Anthropology. My teacher seemed nice, but he’s one of those teachers that tries to catch you off guard and calls on you to answer a random question. I found that quite intimidating since I haven’t taken any type of history or science class in almost 10 years. So that class is going to be interesting.

I also had quite a bit of homework within the past few days. Nothing major. I had a short paper to write this morning for Critical Reading & Writing about myself. I mostly wrote about my ferrets, writing, and music. I took a quiz on the syllabus and aced it. I’m hoping I get a good grade in this class, as it’s the most important one to me.

At the end of the day, I’m very happy I’m not working anywhere. I cannot imagine how someone goes to school full time and works part time. With all the homework I’ve had, it just amazes me how some people do it. I would be so overwhelmed. I’m so fortunate to have a husband who doesn’t make me work.

Overall, I’m quite pleased with my college experience thus far. Catch me in a couple months and that answer may be different. 😉

My Life

“True friends stab you in the front”

While on my way home from a small town this evening I found myself trying to think of blog posts since I haven’t posted one in a while. I had Spotify on and I was listening to the “Bullet for my Valentine” radio station. A song I’ve heard on this station before, and because it was my album of the month for August, was “True Friends” by Bring me the Horizon. The lyrics go like this: “I wouldn’t hold my breath if I was you, ‘Cause I’ll forget but I’ll never forgive you, Don’t you know, don’t you know? True friends stab you in the front”.

This resonates with me so much right now. I’ve recently lost my best friend, for about the 3rd time. No, she didn’t die. She basically disowned me. Again… You see… my best friend has a lot of problems. Being suicidal is #1. She’s been so depressed lately after her most recent suicide attempt a couple of months back. She never texts me back. She doesn’t text me at all. When I text her and ask her why she won’t text me back, she’ll say something smart-assy like “I didn’t know it was a requirement”. It really pisses me off. We hung out back in July and she was totally fine when we hung out. She wasn’t as talkative as usual, but she seemed like she was enjoying herself. She actually reached out to me at that time and asked me to hang out. I was surprised since she hadn’t been texting me much lately.

I’m very disappointed, to say the least. I haven’t talked to her since July. She’s since gone back to school in Chicago and I start college on Monday. I really wanted to be able to come home Monday and text her and tell her how awesome my 1st day of college was. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be doing that. I’ve finally decided I’ve had enough. I know when people are depressed and suicidal you shouldn’t ditch them or stop being their friend, but I’ve had enough. I’m not reaching out to her anymore. I’m not texting her, not calling her. I may even take her off my Christmas card list. I just can’t take it. You’re supposed to be my best friend. We’ve been close since 2010. That’s 7 years. Where have those years gone? Apparently down the drain.

It’s so hard for me to make this decision. I have no idea how I’m going to react when she finally texts me out of the blue because I know she will eventually. She always does. I may want to text her back right then and there and be overjoyed to hear from her. However, I will have to stop myself and ignore the text. She’s pushing away all the people that care about her. I just don’t understand how she can do this. Throwing a friendship of almost a decade, well, we’ve known each other since we were kids, but throwing all that away? It’s just sad. I will always care for her, but I just can’t do it anymore.

So when your friend tries to commit suicide for the umpteenth time unsuccessfully and shuts you out. Don’t go pushing and fighting to retain their friendship. It’s not worth the drama. Lesson learned.

My Life

Life Update

So I got my hair cut. Short. Again… [lol] I also colored it blue. I think it looks lovely. I loved my hair blue. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments so far. I believe it suits me.

I start school a week from this coming Monday. I’m so excited, anxious, and nervous. I’m interested to see how much homework I have for each class. I’m really excited for the Intro to Psychology and Literature in Film classes. I’m just worried Logan won’t have been switched to nights my first day of class. They still haven’t let him know much about when he’s being moved. You see, we only have one car…

It’s going to be so nice when he gets that extra pay per week. I have a credit card that is almost maxed out and another credit card that is maxed out. I’m just excited to get out of debt and be able to pay off my college tuitions.

However, I’m not looking forward to Logan not being beside me when I go to sleep at night. Ever since we moved in together I have always had the fear that someone is going to break into our house in the middle of the night and I’m not going to wake up for it. So now, he’s going to be working from 7PM-7AM and I’m scared to sleep by myself.

I thought about getting a gun. Then I remembered I have been suicidal in the past and it’s probably not a good idea for me to have a gun. I told Logan if he ever wanted to get one to keep it where I couldn’t access it. Since we will have the extra income I’m thinking about getting a security system. We’ll see.

Once we get most of everything paid off, we can finally get another car, start upgrading the house, get central air conditioning installed, and get both of us some well over due dental work. I know I have high hopes. I just hope it all works out and I don’t jinx it.

I posted my August reviews. I know it’s a bit early. I questioned if I should do a “CD” review since I don’t believe anyone buys CD’s anymore except me. I did include it with a link to the album on Amazon in case you want to sample it or buy it.

Not that much has been going on. I’ve been helping my Aunt with stuff for an upcoming court date. I’ve been spending too much money on my credit card online. I always buy so much clothing and makeup! That’s about all that’s going on here. I apologize for not writing recently. I’ve been out of ideas on what to write about. Hope you all are well!

My Life

Makeup or no makeup?

So telling from my pictures you can probably tell I wear A LOT of makeup. Should every girl wear makeup? Should guys be able to wear makeup without criticism? What about all natural? It seems my generation and the generation of kids in high school right now are all about makeup.

Makeup to me (and my sister) is a hobby. It’s an expensive hobby at that. I don’t put makeup on for you. I don’t do it for my husband. I don’t do it for my family. I actually don’t even wear makeup on a daily basis. I decided early on that it should be a privilege for you to see me with makeup on. I do it for myself. I think I look great with makeup on. I feel like doing makeup is an art. I express myself with colorful eyeshadows and bulk up my lashes with thick mascara. I show my gothic side by wearing black eyeliner. I’m in on the eyebrow trend that’s been going on for the past year. I just love makeup.

As I said, I don’t wear makeup every day. Honestly, it’s mainly because I’m lazy. However, it is also because when I pass on, I want people to remember me as I was naturally. Not a cake face covered in makeup or a fake Barbie. I don’t feel it should be a requirement as a girl to wear makeup every day. If you don’t want to wear makeup every day, or even at all, do you boo. 😉 Do not ever let any man, boy, or mean girl tell you that you need makeup to look pretty. You’re beautiful as you are. Makeup is supposed to enhance your features, but it can also be used to make you look totally different. Whichever way you choose is up to you. There really are no rules in makeup. I’ve learned there are makeup tutorials all over YouTube, but so many people do their makeup different than the next person.

When I was in Cosmetology school, we had a week process of learning how to do makeup. Honestly, I thought it was a load of crap. It really didn’t teach us anything we didn’t already know. All the girls in my class were younger than me, but each one of them knew how to contour and highlight. We had to practice doing makeup on each other. My friend did mine and I didn’t like it. I didn’t hate it, it was just different than how I usually did my makeup. It just brought to my attention that we all do makeup differently.

Do you see these little girls on YouTube doing makeup tutorials? Like girl, go play with Barbies. You’re too young for this. I started wearing small amounts of makeup in grade school. In junior high, I added a little more. Mainly eyeliner and mascara. When I was in high school was when I started getting the hang of it and got really creative. I was amazing at makeup in high school. Not that I’m not today. 😀 My sister started doing makeup in junior high and let me tell you, now at 16, she’s slaying the game. Her eyebrows are always on “fleek”. She’s great at doing makeup. She could be a professional makeup artist. She’s the one that basically introduced me to makeup tutorials on YouTube. There are so many. I mainly watch Jeffree Star, Kat Von D, Kylie Jenner, It’s Black Friday, ReeRee Phillips, and Drac Makens. (I’m a goth, what can I say?) I have 4 different palettes and multiple Kylie lip kits and Jeffree and Kat Von D liquid lips.

Speaking of Jeffree Star, who said boys couldn’t do makeup? Again, Jeffree Star and Manny Mua SLAYING the game. I can’t believe just how great some guys look with makeup. They make us girls look like amateurs! Let boys play with makeup, even if they don’t identify as gay or bi. What’s wrong with a straight boy playing with makeup? It’s too “girly” for him to play with makeup and makes him less of a “man”? Again, do you honey. Do not let society dictate what you do and how you live your life.

Long live makeup!