Creative Preface for Portfolio Poem

When she can’t sleep at night,

she thinks of what to write.

 

Ideas flow through her mind,

like visions of an acid trip,

Dripping with raw emotion and real-life experience.

 

She sits in front of her computer until her fingers hack at the keys.

There’s a story in there somewhere.

A story that originates from a young girl who lost her way.

A story of mental illness at its finest: paranoid schizophrenia.

 

It’s a blessing when it comes to writing, but it’s a curse when it comes to writing.

Too many ideas flowing at once, mostly good ideas. Mostly…

 

She’s been writing since she was young.

Her mother always told her to write how she felt.

So she did.

It started with letters from her mom, trying to help her understand reality.

Years later, she wrote letters back to her mom about how she turned out okay.

 

She advertises her books in hopes of someday making it big.

Maybe one day someone will discover her.

 

For now, she just keeps writing to escape reality.

To create her own story, the characters are her friends.

In the end, she’s not alone. Her characters are on her side.

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“School” Poem

Why did I drop out?

Why was school so difficult?

Why was being in love all I cared about?

Why did my so called “friends” get me in so much trouble?

Why was I hanging out with the wrong crowd?

Why could I not concentrate on my work?

Why was it so hard for me to make friends?

 

Why did I not listen to my guidance counselor?

Why did I just not care?

Why did I sleep in class?

How did I make it out alive?

Why didn’t I drop out sooner?

How did I get my G. E. D.?

 

Why did I want to work instead of going to school?

Why was I so adamant on starting a new life?

Why did I think moving out and having a job would make me better?

How did I do drugs at school and not get caught?

How did I get away with getting searched when I had weed on me that one time?

How did I get away with coming to school stoned?

How did I not get addicted to drugs?

 

Why could I not tell the future?

Why could I not see what I was becoming?

How could I say, “I’m never going to college”?

“Depression” Poem

de·pres·sion \~\n. 1. The chill down your spine when you’re in a room full of people but feel so utterly alone. 2. The feeling of not having the motivation to do anything or go anywhere; talking to someone even seems like too much work. 3. The silence you long to hear when your mind is thinking dark thoughts. 4. Sleep seems like a great escape from reality 5. Feeling numb: I spend my days crying, I spend my nights crying/I wallow alone in my own self-pity/this feeling I just cannot shake/I’m not sure how much more I can take/the overwhelming feeling of everything around me/I don’t want to hurt anymore/crying/crying/I feel so alone in the world/I can’t breathe out of my nose from crying so much/My eyes sting from crying so much/I wake up in the morning and my eyes are swollen from crying so much/I feel like such a burden to everyone/Why do I feel these feelings/Why is being happy so hard to do?

“Amanda” Poem (an Anaphora poem)

I’ll never forget a girl I used to know.

I called her my MandaBoo.

She had long, wavy, bright blonde hair.

Green eyes, that sparkled in the sun.

Black thick-rimmed glasses.

They made her look innocent.

 

I’ll never forget a girl I used to know,

that beautiful dress she used to wear,

It was yellow and black tartan,

More like a jumper, really.

Her pale skin glowed in it.

 

I’ll never forget a girl I used to know,

The way people watched in disgust

as we kiss in the hallway.

My arms wrapped neatly around her waist.

The way her hand fit into mine.

 

I’ll never forget a girl I used to know,

the time she saw me at the mall,

She tackled me with a bear hug.

We fell to the floor.

It felt like it was just her and I.

 

 

 

 

I’ll never forget a girl I used to know,

How we got into a fight on Facebook,

About how her boyfriend was cheating on her.

She got upset and blocked me.

 

I’ll never forget a girl I used to know,

I added her back on Facebook,

After years of not speaking.

I see her posts, but we still don’t speak.

I’ve thought about deleting her,

But I can’t get myself to let go.

 

I’ll never forget how much I loved her,

That girl I used to know.