My Life

Life Update

So I got my hair cut. Short. Again… [lol] I also colored it blue. I think it looks lovely. I loved my hair blue. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments so far. I believe it suits me.

I start school a week from this coming Monday. I’m so excited, anxious, and nervous. I’m interested to see how much homework I have for each class. I’m really excited for the Intro to Psychology and Literature in Film classes. I’m just worried Logan won’t have been switched to nights my first day of class. They still haven’t let him know much about when he’s being moved. You see, we only have one car…

It’s going to be so nice when he gets that extra pay per week. I have a credit card that is almost maxed out and another credit card that is maxed out. I’m just excited to get out of debt and be able to pay off my college tuitions.

However, I’m not looking forward to Logan not being beside me when I go to sleep at night. Ever since we moved in together I have always had the fear that someone is going to break into our house in the middle of the night and I’m not going to wake up for it. So now, he’s going to be working from 7PM-7AM and I’m scared to sleep by myself.

I thought about getting a gun. Then I remembered I have been suicidal in the past and it’s probably not a good idea for me to have a gun. I told Logan if he ever wanted to get one to keep it where I couldn’t access it. Since we will have the extra income I’m thinking about getting a security system. We’ll see.

Once we get most of everything paid off, we can finally get another car, start upgrading the house, get central air conditioning installed, and get both of us some well over due dental work. I know I have high hopes. I just hope it all works out and I don’t jinx it.

I posted my August reviews. I know it’s a bit early. I questioned if I should do a “CD” review since I don’t believe anyone buys CD’s anymore except me. I did include it with a link to the album on Amazon in case you want to sample it or buy it.

Not that much has been going on. I’ve been helping my Aunt with stuff for an upcoming court date. I’ve been spending too much money on my credit card online. I always buy so much clothing and makeup! That’s about all that’s going on here. I apologize for not writing recently. I’ve been out of ideas on what to write about. Hope you all are well!

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My Life

Why I’ve chosen not to have kids

Reproducing, huh? Everyone seems to be doing it. (No pun intended) Most people after they settle down and get married start to think about having kids. Some people have kids before they’re even ready. Then there’s us. The small percentage of the population that has chosen not to have children.

“Why?” you may ask. My response is “Why should I?” What’s so great about having kids? My husband and I have always been somewhat awkward around kids. I personally am not a huge fan of kids. Mainly because I have a quick temper and I’m impatient.

Today I went with my mom to hang out with my little cousins ages 7 and 2 I believe. The 7-year-old girl warmed up to me pretty fast. She sat down next to me and started blabbing about how she “hates” this and “hates” that. I explained to her that hating something is not very nice. “Do you hate everything?” I asked her. “No. I don’t hate you. I don’t hate my brother. I don’t hate my dog.” was her response. Mind you the mother of these children has brainwashed them both. She herself has a multitude of problems. Later when the kids were eating the 7-year-old kept hitting her 2-year-old brother and saying he hit her. I watched the whole thing. He didn’t lay a finger on her. When my mom took her upstairs to change clothes she put on a long sleeve shirt and leggings. It was around 80 some degrees out today. It was hot. She made it a point to let us know she’s cold in the summer and hot in the winter. Now to most people, this might sound like regular child like behavior. To me, it was annoying.

When we were in the car waiting for their mom to pick them up, the 7-year-old got out of her car seat and started climbing around the car like a jungle gym. She climbed onto the head rests of the front seats and put her feet in my mom’s face. My mom told her to act right and she actually started yelling at my mom! “Who do you think you’re yelling at?” I asked her. She didn’t answer me. She just kept arguing with my mom. See, here’s the problem. If that was my child, I’d probably have DCFS called on me because I would smack her upside her head. However, in this situation, she’s not my child and I was not in charge of her at this point. Now I’m a liberal as much as the next millenial, but I still believe in scolding your children. Maybe not abusing them or neglecting them, but spanking or smacking them when they need it. I learned at a young age, time out doesn’t nothing for me. How do I know it would work on any other kid?

Want to know the main reason I don’t want to have kids? They are embarrassing. You have to drag them everywhere and most will throw fits when they don’t get what they want. They’re rude, disrespectful, and annoying. Again, this is my personal opinion because I’m not a kid person. My husband’s reasoning behind not wanting children is because he doesn’t want to raise a child in the cruel world of today’s society. He was bullied as a child and he doesn’t want our child to go through that. Another reason he doesn’t want kids is because we would be passing on our mental health issues to a child, who doesn’t deserve to live with them. How do you respond to “Why do I feel like this?” when your child is depressed? I’m a heavily medicated, diagnosed schizophrenic and my husband has major depression. I would never want a child to have to deal with that.

My mom has even told me she doesn’t think I should have kids. That must mean something, right? From the age of 14, I practically raised my 4-year-old sister myself. My step-dad worked nights and my mom was gone for over 6 months for training to be a flight attendant. I was in charge of making sure my sister ate and did what she needed to do. Awesome, a free babysitter, right? Wrong. Not awesome. This is another reason I don’t want to have kids. I was in charge of my sister for many years and in a way, to me, that was like raising my old child.

We all have different opinions on children. Most people love them. Trust me, I’ve tried to love them. I don’t. My husband doesn’t either. There’s no doubt in our minds, even only at age 26, we are not having children. To much dismay of our peers and family, it just isn’t happening. There are so many people I know that are living their lives without having kids. To me, it looks like a pretty decent way to live. Sure we won’t have kids to throw us in a nursing home when we get old, but at least we’ll die together knowing we loved each other and we didn’t let a kid tear our marriage apart.

Just one woman’s perspective of life without kids. If you want kids, more power to you. We live in America where you have the freedom to do pretty much whatever you want. I won’t lose any respect for you if you have kids, I’ll actually gain respect, for I cannot deal with kids.

My Life

A marriage with one income (and no kids)

Currently, I don’t work. I’m actually starting college at the age of 26 in the fall. Since I’m basically going to school full time, I have little time for a part time job. I also WILL NOT work in food service. That’s my personal choice. I’ve applied at an office and have an interview tomorrow, but I’m doubting they will hire me because of my crazy hours.

Last week I was talking to my husband and he said if this place doesn’t hire me, he’s not too worried about me getting a job. He actually just got a promotion and I’m hoping it doesn’t fall through. Once he gets it he will be making about $300 extra a week. Thankfully then we can start paying off all our debt. Between the two of us, we are both in major credit card debt. Anyway, I was actually surprised when he said this. I couldn’t believe he actually didn’t care if I worked. “Yeah, it’d be nice to have more extra money, but I’m not forcing you to” is basically what he said.

I quit my well-paying job back in 2015 and have been unemployed ever since. I went to Cosmetology school full time and that didn’t work out so well. I did have a salon job for a few months earlier this year but I was fired because I wasn’t getting through training quick enough and my manager said she didn’t have time to train me. After getting fired, I had to decide what I wanted to do. I love writing. I do it frequently. I decided to go to school to major in journalism and creative writing.

Living on one income is a bit difficult. We barely skate by and like I said, we have major credit card debt. I’m the one that pays the bills so I have to budget every week my husband gets paid and we are limited to how much money we can spend on groceries. We aren’t able to splurge and buy all kinds of food at the store. We don’t get to buy extra stuff that often, which is why we are in credit card debt. Between the two of us, we go to multiple doctors appointments and each have our own medications we have to pay for. We have 4 pet ferrets we have to buy food, treats, and litter for. It really all adds up.

My husband is a hard worker. He works every day, 5 days a week for 8 hours a day at a factory job that’s he’s been at for 6 years. He’s been so supportive of me over the years.

I happened to pass along to my mom what my husband said about me not having to work. She wasn’t very happy about it. “Don’t you want to make your own money?” She asked. “No. Not really.” I said. I can see how that can be taken as me being lazy, but you have to understand, I’m going to school full time. I want to focus on school. I want to have time to study. I don’t want to overwhelm myself, which I get overwhelmed very easily. My parents are both always on me about getting a job. I just don’t get why it’s so important for me to have a job. It’s so annoying. I wish they would just let me live my life. It’s not like they’re paying for my schooling. My husband is paying for me to go through school and I’m forever grateful for that. They don’t live with me. They don’t pay our bills. If my husband, who is the sole source of our income tells me I don’t have to work, I’m not going to work unless I have to.

Call me lazy all you want, but after I graduate college, I do intend to get a job. I just don’t think it’s the best thing to do right now. However, if I get this office job, I get it and I will work part time. We just have to see how it pans out. Moral of the story is, it’s hard to skimp by with one income, but if you can live comfortably and your significant other supports you, go for it!

My Life

Video games in the marriage?

Some people ask me “How does your marriage work when your husband is a gamer?”

Well, simple, really. We compromise. We set aside time each night to watch TV together or talk, and we also set aside a few hours later in the night for him to play video games with his friends (online, not in real life) and me to play Sims 4 on my laptop or write.

Being a gamer isn’t something you should sarcastically say “Oh God…” to. I think it’s actually pretty healthy. After all, he could be doing something else with his time like talking to other girls, drinking, partying… So in the end, is gaming really that bad?

My Grandparents get a little annoyed when my husband doesn’t come with me to visit them, they ask what he’s doing. “He’s at home playing video games.” Their generation doesn’t understand the hype over video games. I think people don’t understand how much skill and logical thinking is required to play video games. It’s not something you can just start doing over night and call yourself a gamer.

My husband is a super logical person. He’s great in a panic situation. I learned that when my sister got her arm tore open by a dog about a month ago. She was bleeding all over my carpet and bathroom and I just went blank. I had no idea what to do other than taking her to the hospital. He wrapped her arm up and told her to keep it elevated. I was very thankful for him that night. However, I should’ve already known he was good in panic situations. Every time I’ve ever had a panic attack or mental meltdown, he’s always been there to talk me through it and make me take a xanax. I’m forever grateful for my husband.

To make your marriage work, you have to compromise. You also need to have time to pursue your hobbies on your own. He wants to play video games with his friends for 3 hours? That’s fine. At least he’s having fun and doing something he enjoys. He doesn’t have many friends in the real world so I applaud him for making friends online that he can talk to. I’ve even heard him give them advice, something he’s great at (because of his logical thinking).

I hope this brings a new light to gamers. They aren’t bad. It’s just what they like to do. Let them play games. Let them be happy!