My Life

Night shift and marriage

So my husband started working a 12 hour night shift about 4 months ago. Let’s just say it’s been difficult…

He works from 7PM-7AM 3 days on, 2 days off; then 2 days on 3 days off. Basically he’s off every other weekend.

I’ve noticed myself feeling distant from him for a while now. He says we’re still close, but I don’t feel it.

His sleep schedule is erratic for a lack of a better word. He comes home on his days off at 7AM and plays video games until noon then goes to bed. On his days off he gets up at 8pm and stays up all night playing video games until noon the next day. It’s not a good schedule and I feel like he isn’t getting enough sleep.

I rarely see him and when I do it’s when he’s leaving for work or in the morning before I go to school. I don’t see him that much on his days off because I’m hanging out with friends or family. So I feel like I never get a chance to talk to him. When I do talk to him I have to update him on everything that’s gone on. Then he will proceed to talk to me about work for an hour.

So how does this affect our marriage? As I said, we rarely talk. We’re never in bed at the same time. We each do our own thing when we’re home. It’s like living with a roommate and it’s very hard. I miss him so much. I miss talking to him and being together.

However, I’ve found out how much I like to be independent now. I make my own food, I have my own schedule. I go to school, come home and do homework, hang out with my dog, and run any errands that need to be done.

Because I’m so heavily medicated, there are days I don’t even notice he’s been home because I’m in my own little world. It’s like if I don’t think about him I don’t miss him. On weekends is really when I start to miss him.

So I guess the positive of night shift in a marriage is you become more independent and can do whatever you want; but you will eventually miss your spouse.

Advertisements
My Life

Makeup or no makeup?

So telling from my pictures you can probably tell I wear A LOT of makeup. Should every girl wear makeup? Should guys be able to wear makeup without criticism? What about all natural? It seems my generation and the generation of kids in high school right now are all about makeup.

Makeup to me (and my sister) is a hobby. It’s an expensive hobby at that. I don’t put makeup on for you. I don’t do it for my husband. I don’t do it for my family. I actually don’t even wear makeup on a daily basis. I decided early on that it should be a privilege for you to see me with makeup on. I do it for myself. I think I look great with makeup on. I feel like doing makeup is an art. I express myself with colorful eyeshadows and bulk up my lashes with thick mascara. I show my gothic side by wearing black eyeliner. I’m in on the eyebrow trend that’s been going on for the past year. I just love makeup.

As I said, I don’t wear makeup every day. Honestly, it’s mainly because I’m lazy. However, it is also because when I pass on, I want people to remember me as I was naturally. Not a cake face covered in makeup or a fake Barbie. I don’t feel it should be a requirement as a girl to wear makeup every day. If you don’t want to wear makeup every day, or even at all, do you boo. 😉 Do not ever let any man, boy, or mean girl tell you that you need makeup to look pretty. You’re beautiful as you are. Makeup is supposed to enhance your features, but it can also be used to make you look totally different. Whichever way you choose is up to you. There really are no rules in makeup. I’ve learned there are makeup tutorials all over YouTube, but so many people do their makeup different than the next person.

When I was in Cosmetology school, we had a week process of learning how to do makeup. Honestly, I thought it was a load of crap. It really didn’t teach us anything we didn’t already know. All the girls in my class were younger than me, but each one of them knew how to contour and highlight. We had to practice doing makeup on each other. My friend did mine and I didn’t like it. I didn’t hate it, it was just different than how I usually did my makeup. It just brought to my attention that we all do makeup differently.

Do you see these little girls on YouTube doing makeup tutorials? Like girl, go play with Barbies. You’re too young for this. I started wearing small amounts of makeup in grade school. In junior high, I added a little more. Mainly eyeliner and mascara. When I was in high school was when I started getting the hang of it and got really creative. I was amazing at makeup in high school. Not that I’m not today. 😀 My sister started doing makeup in junior high and let me tell you, now at 16, she’s slaying the game. Her eyebrows are always on “fleek”. She’s great at doing makeup. She could be a professional makeup artist. She’s the one that basically introduced me to makeup tutorials on YouTube. There are so many. I mainly watch Jeffree Star, Kat Von D, Kylie Jenner, It’s Black Friday, ReeRee Phillips, and Drac Makens. (I’m a goth, what can I say?) I have 4 different palettes and multiple Kylie lip kits and Jeffree and Kat Von D liquid lips.

Speaking of Jeffree Star, who said boys couldn’t do makeup? Again, Jeffree Star and Manny Mua SLAYING the game. I can’t believe just how great some guys look with makeup. They make us girls look like amateurs! Let boys play with makeup, even if they don’t identify as gay or bi. What’s wrong with a straight boy playing with makeup? It’s too “girly” for him to play with makeup and makes him less of a “man”? Again, do you honey. Do not let society dictate what you do and how you live your life.

Long live makeup!

My Life

Video games in the marriage?

Some people ask me “How does your marriage work when your husband is a gamer?”

Well, simple, really. We compromise. We set aside time each night to watch TV together or talk, and we also set aside a few hours later in the night for him to play video games with his friends (online, not in real life) and me to play Sims 4 on my laptop or write.

Being a gamer isn’t something you should sarcastically say “Oh God…” to. I think it’s actually pretty healthy. After all, he could be doing something else with his time like talking to other girls, drinking, partying… So in the end, is gaming really that bad?

My Grandparents get a little annoyed when my husband doesn’t come with me to visit them, they ask what he’s doing. “He’s at home playing video games.” Their generation doesn’t understand the hype over video games. I think people don’t understand how much skill and logical thinking is required to play video games. It’s not something you can just start doing over night and call yourself a gamer.

My husband is a super logical person. He’s great in a panic situation. I learned that when my sister got her arm tore open by a dog about a month ago. She was bleeding all over my carpet and bathroom and I just went blank. I had no idea what to do other than taking her to the hospital. He wrapped her arm up and told her to keep it elevated. I was very thankful for him that night. However, I should’ve already known he was good in panic situations. Every time I’ve ever had a panic attack or mental meltdown, he’s always been there to talk me through it and make me take a xanax. I’m forever grateful for my husband.

To make your marriage work, you have to compromise. You also need to have time to pursue your hobbies on your own. He wants to play video games with his friends for 3 hours? That’s fine. At least he’s having fun and doing something he enjoys. He doesn’t have many friends in the real world so I applaud him for making friends online that he can talk to. I’ve even heard him give them advice, something he’s great at (because of his logical thinking).

I hope this brings a new light to gamers. They aren’t bad. It’s just what they like to do. Let them play games. Let them be happy!