My Life

Life Update

So I got my hair cut. Short. Again… [lol] I also colored it blue. I think it looks lovely. I loved my hair blue. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments so far. I believe it suits me.

I start school a week from this coming Monday. I’m so excited, anxious, and nervous. I’m interested to see how much homework I have for each class. I’m really excited for the Intro to Psychology and Literature in Film classes. I’m just worried Logan won’t have been switched to nights my first day of class. They still haven’t let him know much about when he’s being moved. You see, we only have one car…

It’s going to be so nice when he gets that extra pay per week. I have a credit card that is almost maxed out and another credit card that is maxed out. I’m just excited to get out of debt and be able to pay off my college tuitions.

However, I’m not looking forward to Logan not being beside me when I go to sleep at night. Ever since we moved in together I have always had the fear that someone is going to break into our house in the middle of the night and I’m not going to wake up for it. So now, he’s going to be working from 7PM-7AM and I’m scared to sleep by myself.

I thought about getting a gun. Then I remembered I have been suicidal in the past and it’s probably not a good idea for me to have a gun. I told Logan if he ever wanted to get one to keep it where I couldn’t access it. Since we will have the extra income I’m thinking about getting a security system. We’ll see.

Once we get most of everything paid off, we can finally get another car, start upgrading the house, get central air conditioning installed, and get both of us some well over due dental work. I know I have high hopes. I just hope it all works out and I don’t jinx it.

I posted my August reviews. I know it’s a bit early. I questioned if I should do a “CD” review since I don’t believe anyone buys CD’s anymore except me. I did include it with a link to the album on Amazon in case you want to sample it or buy it.

Not that much has been going on. I’ve been helping my Aunt with stuff for an upcoming court date. I’ve been spending too much money on my credit card online. I always buy so much clothing and makeup! That’s about all that’s going on here. I apologize for not writing recently. I’ve been out of ideas on what to write about. Hope you all are well!

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My Life

Hello and welcome!

Thank you first and foremost for checking out my blog. I’m not certain how long this blog will be up or if I will continue blogging after I start school, but I look forward to sharing my life with you and having you along my journey of this thing called “life”.

You may or may not have already noticed my facebook page located to the right of this advertising my books. That’s right. I’m a self-published author and let me tell you, it’s a difficult business. I think I have put more money into advertising my books than I have actually made off of them. Feel free to check them out, both available on amazon.com.

Two months ago I thought my journey in life was ending. They say “one door closes and another opens”. Well, one door opened and then kicked me right back out. I was in Cosmetology school from February 2016 – May 2017. I thought I was doing great. I thought I was going to make it big in the hair business. Little did I know, I didn’t have the skill. My teachers told me I had it and I believed them. However, when I got a job at SuperCuts, I learned I didn’t have the skill at all. I had the basics and pretty much everything I learned was thrown out the window. By June I got fired from SuperCuts because they felt they had trained me enough but I wasn’t working up to par. What a nightmare… So I had two choices. Leave the hair business behind and move forward, or continue working in the hair business. Seeing as I didn’t think I had the skill to be successful doing hair, I decided I wanted to go to college. Real college. By mid-June, I was already enrolling at Heartland Community College to pursue my Associates in English.

By June I got fired from SuperCuts because they felt they had trained me enough but I wasn’t working up to par. What a nightmare… So I had two choices. Leave the hair business behind and move forward, or continue working in the hair business. Seeing as I didn’t think I had the skill to be successful doing hair, I decided I wanted to go to college. Real college. By mid-June, I was already enrolling at Heartland Community College to pursue my Associates in English. When I get my mind set on something I want to get it done. However, I’m the type of person that once I get about half way through, I want to quit and start something else. I guess I have A.D.D.

So here I am, almost at the end of July and am looking forward to starting school in late August. I’m so anxious. I just hope I don’t overwhelm myself.

When I was in High School, I thought I was going to graduate then go to Cosmetology School. That was my only plan. I hated school, especially High School, and I couldn’t see myself going to college. After going through Cosmetology school at 25, I learned I can do homework and take tests, even as a late bloomer. I dropped out of high school my senior year, started a full-time job at a place that put me through pure hell (but I made pretty good money), and got my G. E. D. So after quitting the place I called Hell, I was unemployed for almost 2 years. I felt my only option was to go to Cosmetology school.

What you may not know, is that through all of this, I discovered just how mentally ill and mentally unstable I am. I have thrown crying fits at my husband because he couldn’t help me. I’ve cried myself to sleep. I’ve planned out ways to kill myself. I’ve self-harmed. Through all this, I’m still standing. You don’t even want to hear about my dark childhood. My parents did the best they could, but things happen, unfortunately.

At the end of the day, I just want people to know things get better. I’ve talked so many people out of suicide. My husband when we were in high school, and my best friend who struggles on a daily basis. Dealing with suicidal people is hard, but dealing with suicide is harder. Keep your family and friends close. You never know what they are going through.

That’s my rant for today. Thanks for sticking around. 😉