Thank you first and foremost for checking out my blog. I’m not certain how long this blog will be up or if I will continue blogging after I start school, but I look forward to sharing my life with you and having you along my journey of this thing called “life”.
You may or may not have already noticed my facebook page located to the right of this advertising my books. That’s right. I’m a self-published author and let me tell you, it’s a difficult business. I think I have put more money into advertising my books than I have actually made off of them. Feel free to check them out, both available on amazon.com.
Two months ago I thought my journey in life was ending. They say “one door closes and another opens”. Well, one door opened and then kicked me right back out. I was in Cosmetology school from February 2016 – May 2017. I thought I was doing great. I thought I was going to make it big in the hair business. Little did I know, I didn’t have the skill. My teachers told me I had it and I believed them. However, when I got a job at SuperCuts, I learned I didn’t have the skill at all. I had the basics and pretty much everything I learned was thrown out the window. By June I got fired from SuperCuts because they felt they had trained me enough but I wasn’t working up to par. What a nightmare… So I had two choices. Leave the hair business behind and move forward, or continue working in the hair business. Seeing as I didn’t think I had the skill to be successful doing hair, I decided I wanted to go to college. Real college. By mid-June, I was already enrolling at Heartland Community College to pursue my Associates in English.
By June I got fired from SuperCuts because they felt they had trained me enough but I wasn’t working up to par. What a nightmare… So I had two choices. Leave the hair business behind and move forward, or continue working in the hair business. Seeing as I didn’t think I had the skill to be successful doing hair, I decided I wanted to go to college. Real college. By mid-June, I was already enrolling at Heartland Community College to pursue my Associates in English. When I get my mind set on something I want to get it done. However, I’m the type of person that once I get about half way through, I want to quit and start something else. I guess I have A.D.D.
So here I am, almost at the end of July and am looking forward to starting school in late August. I’m so anxious. I just hope I don’t overwhelm myself.
When I was in High School, I thought I was going to graduate then go to Cosmetology School. That was my only plan. I hated school, especially High School, and I couldn’t see myself going to college. After going through Cosmetology school at 25, I learned I can do homework and take tests, even as a late bloomer. I dropped out of high school my senior year, started a full-time job at a place that put me through pure hell (but I made pretty good money), and got my G. E. D. So after quitting the place I called Hell, I was unemployed for almost 2 years. I felt my only option was to go to Cosmetology school.
What you may not know, is that through all of this, I discovered just how mentally ill and mentally unstable I am. I have thrown crying fits at my husband because he couldn’t help me. I’ve cried myself to sleep. I’ve planned out ways to kill myself. I’ve self-harmed. Through all this, I’m still standing. You don’t even want to hear about my dark childhood. My parents did the best they could, but things happen, unfortunately.
At the end of the day, I just want people to know things get better. I’ve talked so many people out of suicide. My husband when we were in high school, and my best friend who struggles on a daily basis. Dealing with suicidal people is hard, but dealing with suicide is harder. Keep your family and friends close. You never know what they are going through.
That’s my rant for today. Thanks for sticking around. 😉