Creative Preface for Portfolio Poem

When she can’t sleep at night,

she thinks of what to write.

 

Ideas flow through her mind,

like visions of an acid trip,

Dripping with raw emotion and real-life experience.

 

She sits in front of her computer until her fingers hack at the keys.

There’s a story in there somewhere.

A story that originates from a young girl who lost her way.

A story of mental illness at its finest: paranoid schizophrenia.

 

It’s a blessing when it comes to writing, but it’s a curse when it comes to writing.

Too many ideas flowing at once, mostly good ideas. Mostly…

 

She’s been writing since she was young.

Her mother always told her to write how she felt.

So she did.

It started with letters from her mom, trying to help her understand reality.

Years later, she wrote letters back to her mom about how she turned out okay.

 

She advertises her books in hopes of someday making it big.

Maybe one day someone will discover her.

 

For now, she just keeps writing to escape reality.

To create her own story, the characters are her friends.

In the end, she’s not alone. Her characters are on her side.

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“Culvers” Play

CHARACTERS:

LOGAN, a 26-year-old labor working man, husband

NIKKOLE, a 26-year-old student in community college, wife

SETTING:

In a 2011 Kia Soul (car)

TIME:

Present

In the middle of a crowded city, surrounded by traffic; the camera lights above the top of the silver Kia Soul sedan. A young woman in the passenger seat with curly brown hair sits restlessly in the seat and is staring out the window in contemplation of something. A young man is driving with a red mohawk and is looking out the rear-view mirror in annoyance.

NIKKOLE: Ugh! There’s nothing to do in this town!

LOGAN: (tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, then gripping it tight.) You’d think as many restaurants we have here there’d be something to do.

NIKKOLE: We could go eat I guess. (she looks at Logan in thought.)

LOGAN: Mhmmm. (he stares deep into the traffic in front of him.) COME ON! (he yells at no one in particular. Nikkole jumps in her seat in surprise.)

NIKKOLE: Is that a yes or a no? (she frowns at him)

LOGAN: (clears his throat and looks over at her as they are at a standstill in traffic.) Yes. We can get something to eat, but that brings us to a problem. (he smiles unexpectedly)

NIKKOLE: (she scrunches her face in confusion) And what problem might that be?

LOGAN: You can never decide on where to eat. It’s always a game. I give you three options and you say “no” to all three. I give you four more and you choose one of the first three. (he stares back into traffic waiting for her reply. He can’t look her in the eye even though he knows he’s right.)

NIKKOLE: (huffs in disapproval) Fine. Give me three options and I’ll pick. (she crosses her arms in anger. It’s not a game. It’s not her fault nothing ever sounds good and she’s so indecisive.)

LOGAN: Okay. So do you want a sit down restaurant or do you want to just pick something up.

NIKKOLE: (looks out the window again and lets out a heavy sigh) I don’t know…

LOGAN: (rolls his eyes) Here we go…

NIKKOLE: Fine. Let’s go sit down somewhere.

LOGAN: That narrows our options. Fazoli’s, Dairy Queen, or Culvers?

NIKKOLE (lets out a smile) Are you craving ice cream or something? (she giggles)

LOGAN: I never turn down ice cream.

NIKKOLE: (looks back out the window at the mall. Thoughts swarm into her head. None of those places sounded that great.) I’m tired of the same old places here.

LOGAN: But you have so many options! Just pick one!

NIKKOLE: Ugh! Okay. Culvers… I think.

LOGAN: No! There’s no “I think” about it. It’s either yes or no!

NIKKOLE: Yes, Mr. Bossy. Let’s go to Culver’s.

(they drive in silence for the next five minutes. “Bulletproof” by Godsmack whines through the car speakers. When they arrive and park at Culver’s, they walk to the door and Nikkole reaches over and grabs Logan’s hand. They interlock their fingers in between their hands. They walk up to the entrance. Logan holds the door for Nikkole. Nikkole giggles quietly.)

LOGAN: What?

NIKKOLE: Nothing. (she laughs out loud.)

LOGAN: Tell me! (Logan is irritated.)

NIKKOLE: (so matter-of-factly) Man, I was really craving Dairy Queen. (Nikkole smiles up at Logan as they stand in front of the counter to order.)

(Logan rolls his eyes and starts telling the cashier his order.)

(Fade to black.)

“School” Poem

Why did I drop out?

Why was school so difficult?

Why was being in love all I cared about?

Why did my so called “friends” get me in so much trouble?

Why was I hanging out with the wrong crowd?

Why could I not concentrate on my work?

Why was it so hard for me to make friends?

 

Why did I not listen to my guidance counselor?

Why did I just not care?

Why did I sleep in class?

How did I make it out alive?

Why didn’t I drop out sooner?

How did I get my G. E. D.?

 

Why did I want to work instead of going to school?

Why was I so adamant on starting a new life?

Why did I think moving out and having a job would make me better?

How did I do drugs at school and not get caught?

How did I get away with getting searched when I had weed on me that one time?

How did I get away with coming to school stoned?

How did I not get addicted to drugs?

 

Why could I not tell the future?

Why could I not see what I was becoming?

How could I say, “I’m never going to college”?

Since I’m done with my Creative Writing class…

I’m going to be posting some of my work from the class on here. I have 7 pieces. 4 poems, a short story, and a play. I just finished the revisions on all of them last night. I have to print them all out with the original before revisions and make it into a portfolio. Stay tuned. I’ll post one tonight and schedule some more for the week.

What I learned by my 27th Birthday

So today’s my 27th birthday. I’ve already learned a few things in 2018. Here they are.

1.) You’re never too old to go to college

Starting college this past fall at the age of 26 has been a wake up call to say the least. I thought I was so smart. Only to find out, all these kids are fresh out of high school and actually paid attention in hig school compared to me who blew it off 10 years ago. I have learned to be aware of your appearance , but don’t give a crap about what other people think of you. I’m in college to get my education, not to make friends. If I make a few friends along the way, that’s nice. Unfortunately when I’m done with college, I’m expected to pay my tuition; not my parents. So I’m going to take advantage of the opportunity and try my hardest to get good grades and learn.

2.) Do not let your life rotate around things

Material things are really nice, I think we all can agree. However, clutter is a different story. Clean out your closet and donate those clothes from 10 years ago that have memories attached. You can’t let an object (especially clothes) dictate how you live your life. Go through things. Throw stuff away. Donate things. Do not let an object control you.

3.) Be thankful for what you have

It’s taken me a long time to get to this point. As being a student and not having a job, in my life right now I have all that I need. A house. Food. Water. A husband. A dog and ferrets. We pay our bills. I really can’t say that I need anything right now. (Other than the birthday cake I’ll be eating Sunday.) My husband said he wished we could do something nice for my birthday. My response was “I have all I need”. I’m very fortunate to be where I’m at and I try to be thankful for it.

This was a short post, but I just wanted to share some of the thoughts I have on my golden birthday today!

Starting my 2nd semester

So I was very nervous to start my second semester of community college. Today was my second day.

So far I’m really looking forward to my World Religions, American Literature, and Creative Writing classes. Hoping they help mold me into becoming a better author. Also crossing my fingers for more A’s this semester.

I’m taking on a full load, 5 classes instead of 4 which I had last semester. Thus far, all my teachers are amazing. I’m just a bit discouraged that I already have so much homework. Hopefully I can catch up.

So I finished my book last week. One of my friends decided to be a beta reader and gave me some discouraging feedback so I’m at a standstill at this point. My editor won’t have a chance to edit until probably February so it’s looking like maybe late February, early March it will get published. Logan and I are still currently working on the cover. Hoping to get that done soon for promos.

If you’ve read my books, please give me words of encouragement. I’m really feeling like a crappy writer right now.

Updates

So as you may know, I just finished my first semester of college at Heartland Community College. I’ve been off since December and don’t go back until January 17th. I’m so anxious to start my new classes.

I’ll be taking Algebra, World Religions, English 102, American Literature, and Creative Writing.

Last semester I ended with an A in English, A in Literature and Film, C in Psychology, and a D in Algebra.

I’m beyond excited to start my new classes, especially World Religions and Creative Writing.

It’s been an interesting journey thus far. I’m always one of the oldest people in my class. I constantly feel like I’m not as smart as these kids who are just out of high school. They blurt out answers to questions that sound so much smarter than anything I’ve thought of.

I’ve been having quite the hard time in Math. Unfortunately everything is done online and the teachers aren’t very helpful. So pray with me that I pass this math class.

Lucky is a spoiled little sweetie. She doesn’t cuddle with me as much but she loves playing in the snow. She’s really taken a liking to Logan too. I just love her so much. 💜

I’m about to finish my third book. I shouldn’t even call it a book, it’s more of a short story. I’m trying to get it done before I go back to school.

sorry I posted this late! Forgot to post it a few weeks ago.