My Life

Why I’ve chosen not to have kids

Reproducing, huh? Everyone seems to be doing it. (No pun intended) Most people after they settle down and get married start to think about having kids. Some people have kids before they’re even ready. Then there’s us. The small percentage of the population that has chosen not to have children.

“Why?” you may ask. My response is “Why should I?” What’s so great about having kids? My husband and I have always been somewhat awkward around kids. I personally am not a huge fan of kids. Mainly because I have a quick temper and I’m impatient.

Today I went with my mom to hang out with my little cousins ages 7 and 2 I believe. The 7-year-old girl warmed up to me pretty fast. She sat down next to me and started blabbing about how she “hates” this and “hates” that. I explained to her that hating something is not very nice. “Do you hate everything?” I asked her. “No. I don’t hate you. I don’t hate my brother. I don’t hate my dog.” was her response. Mind you the mother of these children has brainwashed them both. She herself has a multitude of problems. Later when the kids were eating the 7-year-old kept hitting her 2-year-old brother and saying he hit her. I watched the whole thing. He didn’t lay a finger on her. When my mom took her upstairs to change clothes she put on a long sleeve shirt and leggings. It was around 80 some degrees out today. It was hot. She made it a point to let us know she’s cold in the summer and hot in the winter. Now to most people, this might sound like regular child like behavior. To me, it was annoying.

When we were in the car waiting for their mom to pick them up, the 7-year-old got out of her car seat and started climbing around the car like a jungle gym. She climbed onto the head rests of the front seats and put her feet in my mom’s face. My mom told her to act right and she actually started yelling at my mom! “Who do you think you’re yelling at?” I asked her. She didn’t answer me. She just kept arguing with my mom. See, here’s the problem. If that was my child, I’d probably have DCFS called on me because I would smack her upside her head. However, in this situation, she’s not my child and I was not in charge of her at this point. Now I’m a liberal as much as the next millenial, but I still believe in scolding your children. Maybe not abusing them or neglecting them, but spanking or smacking them when they need it. I learned at a young age, time out doesn’t nothing for me. How do I know it would work on any other kid?

Want to know the main reason I don’t want to have kids? They are embarrassing. You have to drag them everywhere and most will throw fits when they don’t get what they want. They’re rude, disrespectful, and annoying. Again, this is my personal opinion because I’m not a kid person. My husband’s reasoning behind not wanting children is because he doesn’t want to raise a child in the cruel world of today’s society. He was bullied as a child and he doesn’t want our child to go through that. Another reason he doesn’t want kids is because we would be passing on our mental health issues to a child, who doesn’t deserve to live with them. How do you respond to “Why do I feel like this?” when your child is depressed? I’m a heavily medicated, diagnosed schizophrenic and my husband has major depression. I would never want a child to have to deal with that.

My mom has even told me she doesn’t think I should have kids. That must mean something, right? From the age of 14, I practically raised my 4-year-old sister myself. My step-dad worked nights and my mom was gone for over 6 months for training to be a flight attendant. I was in charge of making sure my sister ate and did what she needed to do. Awesome, a free babysitter, right? Wrong. Not awesome. This is another reason I don’t want to have kids. I was in charge of my sister for many years and in a way, to me, that was like raising my old child.

We all have different opinions on children. Most people love them. Trust me, I’ve tried to love them. I don’t. My husband doesn’t either. There’s no doubt in our minds, even only at age 26, we are not having children. To much dismay of our peers and family, it just isn’t happening. There are so many people I know that are living their lives without having kids. To me, it looks like a pretty decent way to live. Sure we won’t have kids to throw us in a nursing home when we get old, but at least we’ll die together knowing we loved each other and we didn’t let a kid tear our marriage apart.

Just one woman’s perspective of life without kids. If you want kids, more power to you. We live in America where you have the freedom to do pretty much whatever you want. I won’t lose any respect for you if you have kids, I’ll actually gain respect, for I cannot deal with kids.